my life as meads

5 for 5

2009-05-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

Ok.
this title is not in reference to an arby's special.

I am proud to say I made it to bootcamp 5 days in a row last week. That means, getting up at 4:30 AM...going to work out at a session of bootcamp.

http://jaysbootcamp.com/.

These are always fantastic workouts! I even made it on friday for the PT test. I have historically skipped the PT test for several months, but hopefully am becoming addicted to the test now...just to see results.

What is the PT test you ask?

2 min of push ups. TOES folks, on TOES, no resting on knees...etc
2 min of sit ups...
2 mile run

Here is the chart:
http://www.usarec.army.mil/hq/apa/rc/apft.htm

91
85
74
Grand total of :
250

The goal is to get 100 points per area. for a whopping 300!!

Ironically, when I took the test in the past I did better on the pushups- I think my counter last time let me get away with a few less than good pushups! I was glad to see my run speed has improved, and I even walked some of it??? how is that possible. oh. I am SLOW...that is how. always room for improvement, right?

So, tomorrow we go at it again! 2 more full weeks of bootcamp. Then I will be mixing it up. MWF bootcamp, and tuesday thursday, all runnning! trainig for chicago officially starts 5/31/09.

now, if I could only get my eating under control....ug.

For those who read, hold me accountable to take the next PT test and see how I do!

he told me he'd meet me

2009-05-10T19:08:00.000-07:00

Ok-
I am going to make an effort to NOT make every post about my singleness and all that it entails (0r doesn't). But, today was probably the most difficult mothers day for me. Never did I think I would dread this day to the degree I did today. I fought and lost a few, but won most battles with tears this morning and last night. Through the day I was determined to be happy. I had to choose it.

Most who read this know that music has always been a part of my life. more so back in the high school and college days, but it still lingers. I am admittedly a car singer, and am not ashamed.
That being said, I recently swapped out the 6 cds in my car for a new set of random music. You will find anything from musicals, country, old school christian music, etc. For some reason (providence I am sure), I pulled out a sons and daughters CD from the late 90s. They are now known as Watermark. There was a song that hit me: Welcome to Deleware.

well its bitter cold december, and the leaves have all fallen true, and I do belive I'm still in love with you.
well I've settled here, and that it that , you have shown me who I am . You had to take me place that I'd never been.
Well we headed to where it seemed like no where, you told me you'd meet me, you told me you'd meet me here.
And your here to say- "WELCOME TO DELAWARE- I know you've traveled far, and its a lot colder here thatn what your used to. And I know, that in the wintertime, things aren't what they used to be- but all you really have here now, is Me."

Man-it is cold and lonely where I am right now. No lie. But, I have a renewed hope that He WILL meet me here. He brought me to this place for a reason, and will bring me through this season as well. 5 years ago I was going though a very rough time and never thought I would escape that period. I did, and am grateful it all happened. I learned more about myself, my friends and family back then.

Looks like He wants me to learn something more.

Mavs/urban assault

2009-05-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok- so I had the lucky chance to go to the mavs game today- thanks Boler! It was a great time.
Kinda. I am exhausted and have a horrible headache from sreaming and whatnot. Turned out to be a good game with a nightmare of an ending. Ug.

I felt compelled to post again as my last one was a bit depressing. Not too much has changed really. I had a decent week. Played in the compay golf tournament, and had a few good moments:

won the womens long drive contest (ok..so there were less than 10 of us)
won an xbox 360 in a raffle
birdied a par 3 all by myself!!

Tonight I grabbed a drink with a friend. It was relatively fun. However they definietly have more drama in their dating life than I do. And none of it great, but I find myself kinda jealous. pathetic I know. Hey, at least I am honest :)

My next item:

http://www.urbanassaultride.com/inside.php?page=austin

A friend may have convinced me to participate in this event. Why am I already scared?

33

2009-04-25T19:09:00.001-07:00

This has been a bad week. Just plain bad.
I wish I could tell you 17 good reasons why my week was bad. Like, I was sick, I locked my keys in my car, I lost my job, etc. But I have none of those to hang my " funk " on.

I have a few ideas of what could be causing it, but am not sure any 1 can be fixed soon, or at all.

I am beginning to realize how alone I really am. Not looking for pity here, but this is just a fact. I have very few friends, tons of acquaintences, but very few real friends. Not one person knows everything about me. That is by design. I don't really like who I am these days. I am sad, and quick to tears, and I can't explain why.

I think I am starting to hold the weight of my families future on my shoulders. More discussions that I want to admit have dealt with "when that happens" kinda topics. My role and knowledge around that subject is greater than I ever wanted. However, as the single one, it has fallen on me. I don't want it, but can't say that as it will bring disappointment and frustration to others. I would rather deal with the stress myself than bring any more stress to others.

My lack of "social" as my dad would call it is also slightly below depressing, and rapidly dropping. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents a ton, I really do. I am over there a great deal, and am grateful to be able to help them with random things from computer issues to vaccuuming. I rarely have anything worth discussing with them, other than work. I was asked this past week if I had had any "social"( This was on thrusday night). I thought, OF COURSE NOT. I was here with yall on Monday, Wednesday, and here again Thurday.

Many times it is my own choice to go over there, as it is better than going home and being alone with my thoughts. So, I don't want it to seem like this is all because they ask, and I refuse to say no. It is becoming more apparent to me, even as a I type that I go in an effort to avoid being alone with my thoughts. It is an escape mechanism. But what am I escaping?

This weekend has shown me how sad things are. Friday night, I picked up fast food, and took tylenol pm to help me sleep...at 7:00PM. I was in bed until 12:30 today. I got up and went to meet my friend to watch the mavericks game. That killed 4 hours. Then, back to the drive thu and home again. My only plans for Sunday include sleeping in, going to dog park, and hopefully the driving range. That is it. My life consists of 1 very good friend, my parents, and my dog.

wow. this is not where i thought I would be at 33.

Monday!!!

2009-04-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

Ok- so very quick update.

My appt for the removal of the packing is WEDNESDAY at 9 45!! i am hoping that is goes smoothly enough and I feel up for some el rancho grande afterwards! So, pray specifically then :)

Also, I am going to get my hair done here in a few hours! So excited. I have been able to bathe, but since i cannot get my face really wet, or put my head down, I have to go to a professional :)

For this I am very excited!

oh and a new pic...todays theme YELLOW!!!

Outpatient does not mean easy....

2009-04-05T16:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, so a few of my friends know that I have struggled with a deviated septum for years, and decided to do something about it this year. * non medical definition*- when you have something causing you to not breathe 100% through the airway as God designed:) Essentially the biggest annoyance is when i get an sinus infection or something of that nature, I keep it for months!! and somewhere deep down, i think that this will magically make me run faster, right? This pic is from Saturday.....

I went to the doc, and was asked almost immediately if I had ever broken my nose. Initially I said no. Then I began to very vividly remember slipping in preschool when in the bathroom. I had worn my new Sunday school shoes- and busted my lip and nose pretty good. But back in the day- the x-ray didn't show much. So, we pressed on....for 30 years :) Fast forward.

The blessed procedure was last Thursday. Little miss optimistic me decided I would officially take through Monday off, but would likely be ready to work again by Monday. Silly me.

We got to the hospital at 5 am for a 7 15 procedure.Seemed normal, however not everyone on the case heard 715....so the fun started at 10:15, and we didn't leave the hospital till almost 5 that evening. While in the surgery the doc confirm that I did break it...when I was 4 and had a bone spur as well just to add in some spice. So, I gave him a challenge. Here I am on sunday....

My family has been key though this process. Erin took the day off to hang with me- and then I have been staying at my grandmothers place ever since. Going on day/night 4 here. She is FANTASTIC!! She has waited on me hand and foot. All meals brought me in bed. (which have included Lima beans, pureed potato soup, tomato soup, mac and cheese, jello and pudding!!)Drawn baths for me, done my laundry and fresh drinks every couple of hours!. I have not been the most energetic guest, as I promptly take some pain killers every 6 hours! She is the greatest 93 year old nurse you could EVER imagine!!!

So, I am not necessarily in PAIN, but very uncomfortable. Best way to describe it is the worst head cold ever, where your nose is running all the time, but you cannot even begin to consider blowing your nose. All this since Thursday, and till next Thursday. Then the 2nd part of the fun happens. I think the Internet has been less than encouraging for this part of the process. I think I will request to be put under for the "unpacking" process, but doubt it will happen. So, please start praying as I am very scared about that!!

I will try to post an update after thursday. I am more of a yellow today, much improved over the black an purple.

Just cause I have to..

2009-03-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have had mixed emotions about blogging about my evening last night. ( out of fear that my parents will read this) Then after more thought, I realized there is nothing to hide, in fact, I hope they see.

So, as my active single social life goes, I spend many Friday nights with my parents. Last night was no different. I left work, went to the house to pick up Lucy, and we went to the dog park. Beautiful evening, and she had a blast. She was exhausted when we got home. (Lucy is my puppy, but lives with my folks. I have full custody of her and can steal her at will).

Ok- now that we have that out of the way. So, I get back to my folks and begin the chatting it up like normal. We talk work, current family events, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. Around 10 or so, something was said that struck a cord with me- so I was not able to hold my tounge and talked back. Details are not pertinant to the story. So, after many tears (mine, not my parents), laughs and what not, I left at 12:45 AM.

Yes, 12:45 AM folks- can you believe it? Press on.

During that time learned many things:

how my dad gave up on women

how my mom and dad met and how he "proposed" - (it is s stretch...but it worked)

how rough the first few months of marriage were for my folks- mom losing a kidney, no job, got a job, ice storm, bus ride, new car, new house with fence...new dog ( then 2.. the legacy live on in Lucy #6)

how my grandad was a rebel ( explains a lot about me!)

how my grandmothers house was flooded, but a great picture was saved!

I also left and had the realization that my parents are some of my very best friends. They love me and my sisters and their families with the perfectly flawed love they have. They care for my precious 93 year old grandma in a way that would make my grandad very proud.

I also left a bit fearful. I am scared I am going to lose them. Their health is not the best, and I cannot fix it for them. They attend doctors appointments at least 1 time a week it seems.

Not only would lose them, but the idea of them not being a part of my future breaks my heart. I want them to know and love the man I marry (still shopping folks, recommendations are welcomed). I want to see my dad rock my baby. I want some of the memories my sisters have had with my parents, is that too much to ask? Am I jealous of them, sure. But, I also know that I have been given the opportunity to know them in a way that they have not. And for that I am truly grateful.

Ok, need to stop before tears come back. I am fresh out!

But, mom and dad, if you stumble across this, know that I love you both dearly and thank you for what you have taught me over the years. I pray that I have some how made you proud with the not so perfect life I have lived thus far.

Random things to tell:

2009-03-16T18:39:00.000-07:00

Random item #1

Ok- so, clearly the accountability didn't go so well.

However, most of that is my fault. Apparently keeping up with, and reading posts is a part of this virtual accountability!!I didn't realize I had sweet friends who had made comments on my post (until last week). So, ladies- yall are precious!

I at least can tell you all that I have been consistent. I have done none of what I set out to do :)

Random item #2
I have recently become a beginner blogstalker, so I feel compelled to share this. It just makes me giggle. This family recently had a baby boy, and has a great photographer friend out there-
Check out the march 16 posting.http://fraziermommy.blogspot.com/

Oh, and no, I don't really know them.

Random item #3
So I got a little onesie that looked like an ipod- and said "ipood" for a friend of mine who is expecting from this website. And sure enough, I am now on their mailing list. However, the magazine give me a good laugh. Here are a few items kind of along the same line of humor:

dachshund farts a marry melody aka "Frank farter dog"
matching shirts for your best friend- (I love my dog- and I love my mommy)- yes I am tempted
not funny- but FANTASTIC idea...Brownie pan that puts edges on every serving!! YUM-O

for those of you who want to see more.....just click....HERE

the end.

2009...

2009-01-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

Ok- so clearly 2008 was a bust in the world of blogging. So, I have a new idea.

Accountability. Yes, so if you are reading this, you too will be held responsible for my success and/or failure of the following goals;

1. Lose weight...yes- we all say this- I wil not bore you with the specifics. More or less, I need my clothes to fit again, so this is really for economic reasons, right?

2. Break 29 min in a 5K. I have never really RACED one since I started running- so this may need to be re-evaluated here in a few weeks.

3. Break 5 hours in a marathon. 6 Min over is my best.....so close!! hope to do Chicago this year- just waiting to figure out when registration is!! if you know- please share!

4. Break 2:15 in 1/2 marathon. Best is 2:18.

5. Church/fellowship- just something. Baby steps folks, baby steps.

HOW:
1. boot camp- M T W TH morning
2. Speed trainign T TH evenings
3. Long runs- probably sunday mornings......starting around 5 miles this week ( that is the GOAL!!)
4. No fried food.
5. Lots of water.

Ok-so there you have it. You know know the goals- and are a PART of the plan :)
Whats on your list?

Politics as an Adult (kind of)

2008-09-04T18:57:00.000-07:00

I have had some interesting observations and realizations as we have come to befully imerssed in the 2008 race for the presidency.

As an adult- things are very different. I pay taxes, (or they are taken from me), I pay for my own gasoline, I pay for insurance.

I remember as a child being somewhat defeated when the candidate that my parents supported did not win. I guess it is the ever innocent mind wanting to believe that parents are not capable of being wrong. I have learned differently. (I still love them....)

I have learned and observed how ugly it is for snap judgements to be made. Upon the announcement of Sarah Palin as the VP candidate I mentioned it to a friend, and they made a horrible face as if there could not have been a more irrational choice. I quickly learned that this reaction was based on ZERO facts. That annoys me.

I have heard candidates referred to as "morons", "idiots," and "empty minded". Comments like this stir a fire in me of sadess and gratefulness all at once.

Sadness for the person/people making these comments. They have been blinded by opinions and pride that keep them from being able to appreciate others perspectives and experiences.

Gratefulness strikes me for those men and women who have enough guts to stand up and say they want to take a chance at running this country. I cannot imagine wanting to take a job where you know that at some point or another most people in your country and others will have negative things to say, and will wish another had been selected. I am thankful that these people exist and are willing to take on a position of this nature.

that's all..

uneventful.yet eventful

2008-07-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been an uneventful one, but necessary. Here is a quick list of the events, in no particular order of occurance or importance.

Friday I worked from my parents house as I had a horrific sinus/chest infection thing that I was fighting.

Had an adult converstaion with the parents about grown up topics, even had different opinions, and it was OKAY!

Saturday I was supposed to run in a 15k race- that didnt start till 7:30 AM! (for you fellow runners, you get it) I decieded to sleep in, and I kid you not I was in my bed getting sucked into lifetime moview, one after another, until almost 12:30. It was beautiful.

Then I met the girls at the pool for some soaking in the sun, while in the pool. (yes mom, I used sunscreen)
From there we went for drinks and appetizers and then to dinner and a movie with a bigger group of girls.

Saw Mama Mia. I will share my opinion if asked .

Sunday I got up to run with a friend a 5:30..we got in almost 10 miles, so I no longer feel behind in the training plan. Now, can anyone out there do SOMETHING about the humidity?

I learned I got married while running

Clearly she did know know the ways of Facebook. Anything updated is SHOUTED to your friends. And thus, the marriage was over.

Monday night at the office...

2008-07-14T19:52:00.001-07:00

Yes, I said it. I am at the office. I have approx 7 minutes to type. And, not really anything much to say.
Why am I at the office, well- code push. Not exciting, nor glamorous. But, this is what I do about 2 times a month. I leave at 6 30, go work out..grab dinner and come back. Last time I was here till almost 2 AM. Tonight, I am praying for more of an 11:45 exit. However, that is not based on me. Sad, I know.

Ok- maybe I should say this. Why do I not WANT to go to church these days? Well, I havent been for several months, and dont have a place I call "home." Yes, this is the same Megan Eads you knew for years folks, just older, and well, just older.

Going to church as a single is NOT the same folks! If you are fresh out of college, sure, no problem. But a well aged career gal like myself, not so much. You are surrounded by folks who have community established in a church body because they started at age 4 and never left,they joined fresh out of collegs, and more often than not, have a family of their own. To attend church you have to get up the courage to sit alone, and be social. Getting out there is tough folks. So pray me through it. Or push me, or pull me- whatever works!

I know I need to be there, and have VERY good excuses to not attend these days. So, who is up for a challenge?

Ok- this one is not sad.

2008-06-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

Ok- so I figured I was off to a sad and depressing start. So, in order to look back on my life and have a few laughs, I decided I should write about a recent event.

I am currenly about 6 weeks into training for the 2008 New York Marathon. This will be my 4th, so running is not "new." I have been kinda impressed with myself in that I get up 3 days a week at 4:30 am to go run at 5:30. We get in 4-5 miles on 2 of those days, and on the 3rd we get in our long run. Today we got up to 12. It was actually a great run for me, quite surprising.

So, last wednesday I had a friend ask if I wanted to go for a run. I said sure. However, the idea of running at 5:30 PM in the lovely Texas heat, did not sound all that inspiring. Nevertheless, I went. About 1 mile in, we go and turn a corner at the busiest intersection in my neighborhood, (especially at that time of day) and I go down. Phone and keys airborne, and I in an effort to not face plant, took the obvious next route, and elected to skid down the sidewalk. I quickly got up, gathered my things, and said, "lets keep going!". About 1 more mile in I was back at my place, and was able to clean up the bloodied knees and shin. Ice packs and I became close companions for the next 12 hours. Somehow I got up the next morning and ran 4 more miles.

I have lovely knees. Don't covet.

How I got here...

2008-06-29T16:41:00.000-07:00

I have always been one to think that blogging is for those with exciting lives. Those with husbands, kiddos and fantastic trips. I have none of those.

I don't really know why, but as of late I have felt compelled to write what is going on in my life, my head and my heart.

It has been an interesting 5 weeks. Here are the events that may have brought me to this place.
1. Suicide of my first love.
2. My sister got married.
3. My cousin got married.
4. My aunt passed away.

Needless to say there have been emotions galore. In fact, I sit here typing with tears. And if you know me at all, you know I am not a crier. Clearly there is something stirring in me, and wants to get out, so this is my weak attempt to discover exactly what it is.

Learning of Kevins death was a shock. If you know our history at all, you know that the news was bittersweet. Not to say that I wished him gone at all. Just a surge of emotions to know that he could no longer hurt others as he did me. At ths same time- a blessing to know that he is finally at peace and no longer struggling with life. I am truly grateful that he and I had come to a place where we could be friends, and that forgiveness had proved healing for both.

Watching my sister find her love has been a beautiful process. I would be lying if I said I wasn't somewhat jealous. But, so much more than jealous, I am elated that she found her groom. (Mark, welcome to the family!)

My cousin and his new wife moved their small wedding up in order for his mother to be present. My Aunt was diagnosed with ALS about 18 months ago, and it took her just a few weeks ago. This is possibly the worst disease I can ever imagine. I have also become more close to my uncle in the past years and having watched him slowly lose his best friend was a painful one. Their relationship is one that I enjoyed watching and pray someday I have the opportunity to emulate.

What am I trying to accomplish with this blog. I have no clue. Maybe looking at other folks blogs has made me a little jealous, but also made me think. Just because I do not have a family of my own, and no boy on my arm, doesn't mean that things are not going on. Not much outward activities at all, but something inside me.

I guess I should thank you for reading so far, and invite you on this journey to figure out why I have been compelled to blog.