Mavs/urban assault

Ok- so I had the lucky chance to go to the mavs game today- thanks Boler! It was a great time.
Kinda. I am exhausted and have a horrible headache from sreaming and whatnot. Turned out to be a good game with a nightmare of an ending. Ug.

I felt compelled to post again as my last one was a bit depressing. Not too much has changed really. I had a decent week. Played in the compay golf tournament, and had a few good moments:

• won the womens long drive contest (ok..so there were less than 10 of us)
• won an xbox 360 in a raffle
• birdied a par 3 all by myself!!

Tonight I grabbed a drink with a friend. It was relatively fun. However they definietly have more drama in their dating life than I do. And none of it great, but I find myself kinda jealous. pathetic I know. Hey, at least I am honest :)

My next item:

http://www.urbanassaultride.com/inside.php?page=austin

A friend may have convinced me to participate in this event. Why am I already scared?

33

This has been a bad week. Just plain bad.
I wish I could tell you 17 good reasons why my week was bad. Like, I was sick, I locked my keys in my car, I lost my job, etc. But I have none of those to hang my " funk " on.

I have a few ideas of what could be causing it, but am not sure any 1 can be fixed soon, or at all.

I am beginning to realize how alone I really am. Not looking for pity here, but this is just a fact. I have very few friends, tons of acquaintences, but very few real friends. Not one person knows everything about me. That is by design. I don't really like who I am these days. I am sad, and quick to tears, and I can't explain why.

I think I am starting to hold the weight of my families future on my shoulders. More discussions that I want to admit have dealt with "when that happens" kinda topics. My role and knowledge around that subject is greater than I ever wanted. However, as the single one, it has fallen on me. I don't want it, but can't say that as it will bring disappointment and frustration to others. I would rather deal with the stress myself than bring any more stress to others.

My lack of "social" as my dad would call it is also slightly below depressing, and rapidly dropping. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents a ton, I really do. I am over there a great deal, and am grateful to be able to help them with random things from computer issues to vaccuuming. I rarely have anything worth discussing with them, other than work. I was asked this past week if I had had any "social"( This was on thrusday night). I thought, OF COURSE NOT. I was here with yall on Monday, Wednesday, and here again Thurday.

Many times it is my own choice to go over there, as it is better than going home and being alone with my thoughts. So, I don't want it to seem like this is all because they ask, and I refuse to say no. It is becoming more apparent to me, even as a I type that I go in an effort to avoid being alone with my thoughts. It is an escape mechanism. But what am I escaping?

This weekend has shown me how sad things are. Friday night, I picked up fast food, and took tylenol pm to help me sleep...at 7:00PM. I was in bed until 12:30 today. I got up and went to meet my friend to watch the mavericks game. That killed 4 hours. Then, back to the drive thu and home again. My only plans for Sunday include sleeping in, going to dog park, and hopefully the driving range. That is it. My life consists of 1 very good friend, my parents, and my dog.

wow. this is not where i thought I would be at 33.

Monday!!!

Ok- so very quick update.

My appt for the removal of the packing is WEDNESDAY at 9 45!! i am hoping that is goes smoothly enough and I feel up for some el rancho grande afterwards! So, pray specifically then :)

Also, I am going to get my hair done here in a few hours! So excited. I have been able to bathe, but since i cannot get my face really wet, or put my head down, I have to go to a professional :)

For this I am very excited!

oh and a new pic...todays theme YELLOW!!!

Outpatient does not mean easy....

Ok, so a few of my friends know that I have struggled with a deviated septum for years, and decided to do something about it this year. * non medical definition*- when you have something causing you to not breathe 100% through the airway as God designed:) Essentially the biggest annoyance is when i get an sinus infection or something of that nature, I keep it for months!! and somewhere deep down, i think that this will magically make me run faster, right? This pic is from Saturday.....



I went to the doc, and was asked almost immediately if I had ever broken my nose. Initially I said no. Then I began to very vividly remember slipping in preschool when in the bathroom. I had worn my new Sunday school shoes- and busted my lip and nose pretty good. But back in the day- the x-ray didn't show much. So, we pressed on....for 30 years :) Fast forward.



The blessed procedure was last Thursday. Little miss optimistic me decided I would officially take through Monday off, but would likely be ready to work again by Monday. Silly me.

We got to the hospital at 5 am for a 7 15 procedure.Seemed normal, however not everyone on the case heard 715....so the fun started at 10:15, and we didn't leave the hospital till almost 5 that evening. While in the surgery the doc confirm that I did break it...when I was 4 and had a bone spur as well just to add in some spice. So, I gave him a challenge. Here I am on sunday....



My family has been key though this process. Erin took the day off to hang with me- and then I have been staying at my grandmothers place ever since. Going on day/night 4 here. She is FANTASTIC!! She has waited on me hand and foot. All meals brought me in bed. (which have included Lima beans, pureed potato soup, tomato soup, mac and cheese, jello and pudding!!)Drawn baths for me, done my laundry and fresh drinks every couple of hours!. I have not been the most energetic guest, as I promptly take some pain killers every 6 hours! She is the greatest 93 year old nurse you could EVER imagine!!!



So, I am not necessarily in PAIN, but very uncomfortable. Best way to describe it is the worst head cold ever, where your nose is running all the time, but you cannot even begin to consider blowing your nose. All this since Thursday, and till next Thursday. Then the 2nd part of the fun happens. I think the Internet has been less than encouraging for this part of the process. I think I will request to be put under for the "unpacking" process, but doubt it will happen. So, please start praying as I am very scared about that!!



I will try to post an update after thursday. I am more of a yellow today, much improved over the black an purple.

Just cause I have to..

Ok, so I have had mixed emotions about blogging about my evening last night. ( out of fear that my parents will read this) Then after more thought, I realized there is nothing to hide, in fact, I hope they see.





So, as my active single social life goes, I spend many Friday nights with my parents. Last night was no different. I left work, went to the house to pick up Lucy, and we went to the dog park. Beautiful evening, and she had a blast. She was exhausted when we got home. (Lucy is my puppy, but lives with my folks. I have full custody of her and can steal her at will).

Ok- now that we have that out of the way. So, I get back to my folks and begin the chatting it up like normal. We talk work, current family events, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. Around 10 or so, something was said that struck a cord with me- so I was not able to hold my tounge and talked back. Details are not pertinant to the story. So, after many tears (mine, not my parents), laughs and what not, I left at 12:45 AM.

Yes, 12:45 AM folks- can you believe it? Press on.

During that time learned many things:

• how my dad gave up on women


• how my mom and dad met and how he "proposed" - (it is s stretch...but it worked)


• how rough the first few months of marriage were for my folks- mom losing a kidney, no job, got a job, ice storm, bus ride, new car, new house with fence...new dog ( then 2.. the legacy live on in Lucy #6)


• how my grandad was a rebel ( explains a lot about me!)


• how my grandmothers house was flooded, but a great picture was saved!

I also left and had the realization that my parents are some of my very best friends. They love me and my sisters and their families with the perfectly flawed love they have. They care for my precious 93 year old grandma in a way that would make my grandad very proud.

I also left a bit fearful. I am scared I am going to lose them. Their health is not the best, and I cannot fix it for them. They attend doctors appointments at least 1 time a week it seems.

Not only would lose them, but the idea of them not being a part of my future breaks my heart. I want them to know and love the man I marry (still shopping folks, recommendations are welcomed). I want to see my dad rock my baby. I want some of the memories my sisters have had with my parents, is that too much to ask? Am I jealous of them, sure. But, I also know that I have been given the opportunity to know them in a way that they have not. And for that I am truly grateful.

Ok, need to stop before tears come back. I am fresh out!

But, mom and dad, if you stumble across this, know that I love you both dearly and thank you for what you have taught me over the years. I pray that I have some how made you proud with the not so perfect life I have lived thus far.

Random things to tell:

Random item #1

Ok- so, clearly the accountability didn't go so well.

However, most of that is my fault. Apparently keeping up with, and reading posts is a part of this virtual accountability!!I didn't realize I had sweet friends who had made comments on my post (until last week). So, ladies- yall are precious!

I at least can tell you all that I have been consistent. I have done none of what I set out to do :)

Random item #2
I have recently become a beginner blogstalker, so I feel compelled to share this. It just makes me giggle. This family recently had a baby boy, and has a great photographer friend out there-
Check out the march 16 posting.http://fraziermommy.blogspot.com/

Oh, and no, I don't really know them.

Random item #3
So I got a little onesie that looked like an ipod- and said "ipood" for a friend of mine who is expecting from this website. And sure enough, I am now on their mailing list. However, the magazine give me a good laugh. Here are a few items kind of along the same line of humor:

• dachshund farts a marry melody aka "Frank farter dog"
• matching shirts for your best friend- (I love my dog- and I love my mommy)- yes I am tempted
• not funny- but FANTASTIC idea...Brownie pan that puts edges on every serving!! YUM-O

for those of you who want to see more.....just click....HERE


the end.

2009...

Ok- so clearly 2008 was a bust in the world of blogging. So, I have a new idea.

Accountability. Yes, so if you are reading this, you too will be held responsible for my success and/or failure of the following goals;

1. Lose weight...yes- we all say this- I wil not bore you with the specifics. More or less, I need my clothes to fit again, so this is really for economic reasons, right?

2. Break 29 min in a 5K. I have never really RACED one since I started running- so this may need to be re-evaluated here in a few weeks.

3. Break 5 hours in a marathon. 6 Min over is my best.....so close!! hope to do Chicago this year- just waiting to figure out when registration is!! if you know- please share!

4. Break 2:15 in 1/2 marathon. Best is 2:18.

5. Church/fellowship- just something. Baby steps folks, baby steps.

HOW:
1. boot camp- M T W TH morning
2. Speed trainign T TH evenings
3. Long runs- probably sunday mornings......starting around 5 miles this week ( that is the GOAL!!)
4. No fried food.
5. Lots of water.


Ok-so there you have it. You know know the goals- and are a PART of the plan :)
Whats on your list?